I

I didn't ask myself this question about whether borderline personalities are neurodivergent because I was looking for a new label, but because I wanted to understand at some point why my experience feels so different . Why my feelings don't just come and go, but sometimes overwhelm me. Why little things can completely throw me off balance. And why I wondered for so long if I was simply too sensitive.

I'm not writing this post because our relationship is difficult, but because it's real. Kim and I have been together for 14 years. Our love is intense, deep, and has grown over time. We know we can rely on each other when things get tough. No matter how chaotic or overwhelming things get, we're there for each other. We usually make up quickly, and loyalty is something that's never in doubt between us. And that's precisely what I want to write about: BPD meets ADHD.

Sometimes a feeling just overwhelms me, and I don't even know what's happening to me. A small sentence, a glance, a change in tone of voice—maybe something happens that would be "just" an argument or an awkward moment for others, and suddenly everything inside me is tense, dark, heavy. Everything collapses internally. My feelings don't build up gradually. They explode. I feel paralyzed, as if my body couldn't handle it all.

I often only realize in retrospect how hard I am on myself. Not just during major crises, but in everyday life. My thoughts about myself run so automatically that they don't feel like thoughts, but like facts. And that's precisely what makes them so powerful. What my negative self-images and negative self-esteem look like in everyday life Sometimes it only takes something very small. I drop something. I make a mistake. Something doesn't work out the way I planned

There are days when I know pretty much exactly what my name is, but not who I am. I know what I have to do, what's expected of me, how I can function. But inside, it feels empty. As if there's no fixed self to hold onto. This feeling accompanies many people with borderline personality disorder. And for a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me.

Hello, my dears Today I would like to tell you something about dissociation... Dissociation is part of my everyday life. Not constantly, but again and again. And each time it feels a little the same and yet different. The best way I can describe it is this: I'm still here, but not quite reachable anymore.